How to cure a shy cat

I uphold my cat-loving reputation not only to my friends, but to my family as well.
For any cat-related questions they think of, I am the first person they come to.
The one that I am asked the most is how to bring a shy cat out of its shell to be more social.
This was also something I struggled to figure out, because I had a shy cat of my own that I desperately wanted, for her sake, to come out of her shell.
Before I begin, please remember these points:
First of all, the stereotype is true — female cats are more shy than male cats. Therefore, it will be harder to break a female cat out of her shy ways. Difficult, not impossible.
Second of all, kittens learn most traits and behaviors between the ages of 4 and 20 weeks old. That means that an older cat is more set in his or her ways. Again, it will be difficult to make the older kitty more social, but not impossible.
Lastly, cats can undergo traumatic experiences and will carry it with them throughout their lives (just like humans... Think about post traumatic stress disorder...) Therefore, some cats will never be fully trusting of humans and forcing yourself onto the cat will only make it worse.
So, how do you do it? Remember, (Communication majors...) 93 percent of communication is nonverbal communication. Cats may not be able to understand what exactly we are saying, but they can sense moods and traits of humans better than we can. Therefore, it's important to display welcoming, loving body language to a shy cat.
Use a nice tone, look at it with loving eyes, get down to the cat's level, open up your hands and let it come to you first. Don't move closer to the cat. Let the cat move closer to you or else it will run!
Don't try to force or chase the cat into coming to you.
Do this on a normal basis until the cat gets used to you, then when the cat trusts you enough to let you hold it, don't force it! If kitty wants down, let kitty down!
But if not, put an honest effort in to make the cat love and trust you. Seriously try to bond with the cat and build that essential trust.
Use a calm tone, pet the cat gently and think loving thoughts. Eventually it will want down, but if you do this on a normal basis, the cat will start coming to you.
In addition, it's important to have a set-in-stone feeding schedule for the cat and don't miss any times!
The cat will be used to getting fed at that time and will trust that you will put its food out.
Read my previous post about how to talk to your cat to get a sense of whether the kitty is coming around or not.
And remember, some strays carry diseases and it's a bad idea to try to get the cat to come to you or let it into your home. Not all strays, but some.
Sometimes it's not worth the risk to try to bring a stray into your home. But if you still feel the need to take care of it, put some food out. If you're a food source the stray cat can trust, the cat is sure to be back.

Declawing — why I think it's cruel.

Today, My boyfriend and I took a trip to Tractor Supply to find healthier cat food; but what we happened to stumble upon was nail trimmers for kitties.

I am a believer in kitty nail trimmers.

Lily tends to walk, run, play, cuddle and basically do everything with her claws out. 

She's nearly a year old, so I'd say she's outgrown the playful I'm-a-kitten-and-I'll-accidently-scratch-you stage and it's just how she it. 

Some would say she's hard to love because she's extremely skittish. I won't completely disagree, because she's not afraid of me — but I will say that she's hard to love because of those razors she has sticking out of her paws. So purchasing these nail trimmers was almost as essential as purchasing a brush for Charlie.

However, as annoying and painful that her claws are, I refuse to declaw her. 

Simply put, I don't believe in it.

Thinking in simpler terms, I don't want to declaw my cats because I'm afraid that there will come a time when they might need to live outside and will need their claws to defend themselves against other animals. A declawed cat vs. a clawed cat or other animal... I'd rather not risk it. 

Thinking in moral terms, declawing them would be like de-fingering us.

Cats don't have hands that can grab and fingers that can reach and point. Instead, they have paws with pads and claws. Why would I want to take away an essential part of their functioning? It's painful and cruel.

House cats are descended from the big cats in Africa. Their claws are instinctual. It's how they hunt and play. 

Haven't you ever seen a declawed cat still scratch at floors, furniture and the scratching post? It's almost enough to make you wonder about those instincts...

Just because Lily scratches me, doesn't mean I'm going to forever punish her by taking away part of her essential being. To me, it's cruel and unusual punishment. 

Instead, do what we did and trim your cat's nails up! Just pay close attention to how far up the nail you're trimming and be sure to keep up with it! Once a month is ideal. You'll thank me later! 

The April Fool's joke I played on my cat

Charlie isn't like a stereotypical cat, he's unique in the sense that he actually likes water — actually, liking water would be an understatement. He loves the water. I can't step into the bathroom without him following me, meowing away and begging for me to turn the bathtub faucet on. When he gets his way, he plays in it and drinks the flowing water like it's going out of style.
When I shower, he puts his head inside the curtain and lets the water spray his head. Sometimes I'll cup the water in my hands and will pour it over his head, neck, paws or body and he happily takes it. 
He's persistant. When I don't comply with his orders of turning the faucet on, he gets annoyed and his meows get louder. 
The morning's are the worst. When I finally get out of bed, normally running late and don't have time for his demands, his meow will get raspy and he will truly sound desperate. (As if he's seriously parched!) Don't get me wrong — both of my cats are very well taken care of. They always have fresh water available to them and I rationalize their food (meaning that they're on a feeding schedule) Charlie's just spoiled. 
I can hardly wash the dishes without having to push him off the counter a few times, as he sees the kitchen faucet as an opportunity to play in the flowing water as well. 
He's relentless, but he's also polite. It's been a great opportunity to teach him tricks; he knows that I won't turn the faucet on unless he tells me what he wants and says please. 

I guess you're wondering what my April Fool's joke on him was, huh? This morning, he said please and thought he was going to get faucet time, but he didn't. April Fool's Charlie!

A very unamused Charlie.

But then I felt bad, so he got treats and got some time with the bathroom faucet after I got home from work.

How to talk to your cat

This may seem like a simple topic, but after studying my own cats I feel that it can be much more complex than what you may think.

But we'll start with the obvious:
An arched back and downward curved tail means your kitty is scared;
Purring means that your kitty is relaxed or happy;
An arrow straight body and tail along with growling or hissing means kitty is angry or feels threatened;
When kitty rubs the side of her face on you, she's claiming her as her own.

The tail gives a lot away about their moods. For instance, a tail that's curved at the end, like a question mark, means she is confused. A tail that's tucked, like a dog, means she is afraid. A straight up-and-down tail means she is happy or content. A twitching tail means she is anxious, excited or annoyed. A tail with crazy hairs sticking up most likely means that kitty is angry or threatened about something.

Just like humans, the eyes are the window to a cat's soul. When a cat slowly blinks while looking at you, consider you kissed by your cat, as it's the same as blowing a kiss.
Wide eyes with dilated pupils are hard to tell, as it could mean she's excited or mad.

Vocally, cats can say a lot more than what you may think. When she has a short, high-pitched meow, she's saying, "hello!"
When she's meowing multiple times in a row, she's excited to see (or talk) to you! Just like humans do when they're excited to see someone, cat's can "chatter" too.
When she's drawing out her meow, she's complaining about something.
If she suddenly meows, kind of like a scream, did you accidentally step on her tail? Could she be fighting with another cat?
A hiss means she's trying to threaten you. Beware.

A cats head gives a lot away about her mood as well. Licking, touching her wet nose to yours or head butting are all signs of affection. When she sniffs your face, she's trying to figure out who you are.
When her ears are pinned back, watch out. She may attack.

Sometimes her mood is easy to read. What do you think my cats are thinking here?

Kneading

If you've ever watched a newborn kitten nurse from its mother, you've seen kneading in action.
Kneading is the action that takes place in which a cat will sit in a crouched position and will push out and retract his claws, alternating between his left and right front paws, while appearing to suck (or nurse) and purr.
Oftentimes, it's done before sleeping and females tend to do this more often whilst in heat.
I hardly see Lily taking part in kneading, but when I do it's normally late at night when she's about to fall asleep. 
Although not all cats will knead the same, it's the same idea. His paws will look like he is kneading dough. However, some of them will leave their claws retracted the whole time, while some may not dig their face into whatever they're kneading in.
There's many variations to kneading, as well as many theories for this behavior. 
One theory says that although it's instinctive for cats while they are babies, as they get older it becomes an act of pleasure or relaxation. 
To help you understand, experts say kneading for a cat is like stretching for a human — and if they happen to take part in this act while sitting in your lap, it's a huge sign of affection.
It has even been said that when a cat kneads on his owner, he is checking to be sure all his owners vital organs are working properly. Although I'm sure cats are unable to actually tell, it just goes to show how much he is saying "I love you" in this action.
It's also been said that this behavior has been passed down from generation to generation, as their ancestors would knead the tall grass to make a bed for them to sleep in. (Kind of like the way a dog walks around in circles before they lay down to go to sleep.)
Another theory says he is releasing his scent onto whatever he's kneading onto just to say — this is mine!
It's also been said it's his way of saying, "I want attention!" It's hard to ignore a kitty pushing her claws in and out of your lap and purring loudly.
I first noticed Charlie kneading when he was just a kitten. 
It was often misunderstood and I thought he was trying to nurse! I punished Charlie by moving him off my lap and pulling his head up. 
Little did I know, he was actually saying he loved me!

Charlie kneading on a blanket. 

You can see how he pushes his face into the blanket and in the beginning, 

you can see how he moves his paws.

Letter from your cat

Dear Human,
Please don't get mad at me if I'm not one to cuddle;
but keep in mind that if something's wrong, I'll be there on the double.
Although I come off this way, I'm not trying to be mean.
Whilst you have a life expectancy of 80 years, I've only got 15.
So when you're upset with me over digging up that plant, spitting up a hairball or knocking something over, keep in mind that I'm just inspecting.
Promise not to be furious if sometimes I get curious.
I'm a cat, what do you expect?
You may not realize it, but you're always on my mind.
While you're out with your best friend, I'm waiting on the return of mine.
Although I'm independent, I still need love, attention and affection.
I may not always want to sit in your lap, as I would rather nap.
But I still enjoy your company and I hope you enjoy mine.
I know I can be pretty grumpy, but you're my favorite person to be around.
Although many think otherwise, I would never plot to kill you.
When I stare at you, I'm observing to make sure everything's okay.
I'm not formulating an evil plan against you and I never would.
Although my claws my say otherwise, my purr should make up for it.
Dog isn't the only "man's best friend," cat is too.

Love,
Your Cat

As Bob Barker would say...

As a child, I never understood the importance of spaying and neutering animals. But I remembered former "The Price is Right" Host Bob Barker giving everyone this advice at the end of his show.
I thought to myself, "If everyone spayed and neutered their animals, they would eventually become extinct and we'd have no more puppies or kittens!"
However, when I got older and realized how irresponsible some people could be with their animals, I understood Barker's advice.
Some people feel that if their female animals get pregnant, they can simply drop off the offspring to the animal shelter. Wrong!
Instead of being reactive, animal owners should be proactive and get their animals "fixed."
Many local animal shelters and humane societies operate solely from volunteer work as non-profit organizations. In addition, many of them are severely overpopulated — the amount of animals in need of loving home alarmingly excels the amount of willing adopters these animals desperately need. According to americanhumane.org, 3.7 million animals are euthanized each year due to overpopulation.
However, this could be prevented through spaying and neutering. (And adopting from animal shelters and humane societies... But that's a different post for a different day.)
Spaying is the procedure that takes place in female animals that prevents them from reproducing.
Neutering is the procedure that takes place in male animals that sterilizes them. Both procedures are performed by removing reproductive organs.
Although it may seem expensive to have this procedure performed on your animal, many local humane societies offer it at a lower cost. As long as there were no complications, my local humane society offered to neuter Charlie for $35. However, this was not the case.

Charlie was very sleepy for the first couple of days after being fixed.

As Charlie was approaching his first birthday and I had spent a pretty penny on the furniture in my house, I decided it was best to get him neutered to prevent him from spraying and an unplanned kitty pregnancy between him and Lily. I tearfully dropped him off at the mobile unit and was instructed to pick him up after they called to tell me he was ready. Later that afternoon, I received a phone call informing me that they could not perform the procedure on Charlie because he suffered from a double cryptorchidism; which means that neither of his testicles had descended into his scrotum. I would have to take him to a veterinarian to complete the procedure. He wouldn't be able to reproduce, but he would still be able to spray and it was likely that he could develop cancer from it. Although Charlie wasn't technically spayed, he was fixed the same way.

Charlie's face stayed swollen for about a week afterword.

Recently, Lily was spayed and everything went normal for her.

Lily was sore and lethargic for about three days after being spayed.

Although I waited until they were older, it's possible to have the procedure completed at a younger age. Weight also plays a factor in whether or not the procedure can be performed. 
Having your animals spayed or neutered prevents health problems later on, such as uterine and breast cancer in females and testicular cancer and an enlarged prostate gland in males — not to mention the elimination of aggressive behaviors and the annoying whiny meow of a female cat in heat.
I can tell you first hand that since they have been fixed, they have been sweeter and gentler. Sure, they are more likely to become obese, but through other preventative behaviors on my part it can be avoided. I don't think it's wrong to take away an animal's right to reproduce.
I think it's wrong to euthanize innocent animals due to overpopulation.